TOPIC: AUTHENTICITY

"Those that don't got it, can't show it. Those that got it, can't hide it."
~ Zora Neale Hurston

Living in authenticity is one of the great challenges of being human, and living an authentic life is an aspiration. So prepare to blunder along the path! Risking telling the truth at all times requires both courage and finesse because truth-telling can be hurtful to others, especially those who are fragile. One sure way to measure how fully you're in your truth is to track the sensations in your body. Trust your gut over your thoughts and pay attention to what answers arise for you. Also notice what happens to you when someone asks you a question that puts you on the spot: Do you answer authentically or do you veil your answer to accommodate their feelings? If you choose the latter, what does that do to your feelings about yourself? It's possible to stand in your authenticity by making it a practice to pause to see if there's a more "politic" way to speak your truth without hurting others.

Living in authenticity is one of the great challenges of being human, and living an authentic life is an aspiration. So prepare to blunder along the path! Risking telling the truth at all times requires both courage and finesse because truth-telling can be hurtful to others, especially those who are fragile. One sure way to measure how fully you're in your truth is to track the sensations in your body. Trust your gut over your thoughts and pay attention to what answers arise for you. Also notice what happens to you when someone asks you a question that puts you on the spot: Do you answer authentically or do you veil your answer to accommodate their feelings? If you choose the latter, what does that do to your feelings about yourself? It's possible to stand in your authenticity by making it a practice to pause to see if there's a more "politic" way to speak your truth without hurting others.

Scores of comedians cite the supposedly typical scenario of a woman putting on a new outfit and asking her husband if it makes her look fat. The gag is that the woman doesn't want to hear the truth, and that the man should know he'd better lie. Such jokes make both men and women look like simpletons whose relationships are founded on manipulation. How would you answer such a question from your friend? Can you handle hearing an authentic answer, and can you give kind, authentic answers?

DAILY HEALTHY ACTS

• Spend a day noticing when you bend your truth in order to accommodate people around you.
• Practice speaking your truth in kind, authentic ways.

This post is way too LOOOONG for me to read it through...
but my 2 cents on authenticity (my ha'penny?)
Authenticity,
What does it mean
Authenticity
So what I've learned on this is that a person has to be authentic with themselves, live where they're up to, otherwise they'll be living in a state of dis empowerment and depression. A person isn't being authentic when they're trying to live at a level which is higher than they're up to, or a level which is lower than they're up to. This doesn't mean you can just not do something because it's too 'high' for you, for you'll have to speak to a rav about it and figure out what's going on... kay, I can go on and on... but I think that's the gist...

Have a great day all!

Thanks for sharing

I have one question about what you said; shouldn't we always be trying to live at a higher level then where we are now??

Malki wrote:
I was thinking of writing about that but had decided not to as it's way too complicated...

So there are a few points. A few reasons/ways that a person can be inauthentic.
One, the most common way, is when a person decides to take something on, or is living in a way, that is inauthentic to them. The higher soul says do this, the lower soul says do that. And not always is the lower soul wrong. Sometimes there is a valid point and valid reasons that you shouldn't be following your higher soul - such as a person who is looking for a home, they could say we only need 1 bedroom, but in reality they can't cope in just one bedroom and need at least 3... I'm specially bringing an example first that isn't spirituality. Or someone who takes on chumros/stringencies that they're not up to.
Then there is inauthenticity when one is growing, that one can take things on that are higher than where they really are, in anticipation, knowing, that in a while they will be on that level.
Or there is when one is living in one way which is in contradiction to other things that you are doing, and leaves you confused and unsure of where you are...

And of course, if you aren't being authentic, there are ways to know if that is the issue. Sometimes it has nothing to do with authenticity but desire... Authenticity comes into play when your lower soul has a valid point...

I don't know how clear I am or how well I'm putting into words what I'm thinking...

Did I answer you?

Thanks so much for sharing...

Quite deep and profound!!

How do ou know if something you do is authentic or not?
I stopped wearing my hair down as a 2 week kabala that turned it to the whole summer, that turned into until the end of sukkos. In a bold move, last week I cut off half of my hair so it would be above m shoulders so I wouldn't have to have this daily fight. How do I know this is authentic or not?

It's done!! In the future, how would you know if it were authentic or inauthentic? It's a tricky one. There are 2 ways to know. First is that you should ask your mentor/older friend/friends/people who you give to who know you... 2nd is, how do you feel about it? If a person lacks vitality, ilfe, and joy, that may be a sign of inauthenticity - I'm not saying is a sign because it could be anything else. Does thinking about your hair bother you or disempower you? Good for you for doing what you think is right... I wish I could tell you that I'd do the same but I can't...

When I think about m hair I do get sad. I had these long cascading golden curls that made me feel like a princess. And now they are just so short. I must say that my hair must of attracted a lot of attention, and it is much more tzniyus now- it doesn't look all that bad, and it will grow back.

I feel good that I was able to make this descision, but a lot of people are still telling me that hair is allowed to be out and long and what I did was unessesary. I do feel more tzanuah now, and the challenge is wayyyyy easier. I was told that I could withstand this test by my friends and mentor but it would be hard...

I still wonder if it was right.....
we trick ourselves sometimes, of course I'm not 100 percent happy about that, but that's only cuz I wanted to look pretty and have my hair out. I just told myself it wasn't an option with such long hair anymore, and it I was going to cut it, I might as well make it really tzniyus.

Good for you that's all I can say...
I guess not ever 'right' decision automatically comes with gushing feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment.
I bet all those locks of hair weighed down the 'mitzvah' side of the scale this year!!!

For good things im allowed to be jealous!! and I am... you are one strong girl!! keep making hashem proud...

hey I know this is a few month old but..
Hadas Bat-el WOW> WOW> WOW. beyond impressed. really. im shocked. im reading this and shaking my head sayin this kid is crazzy amazing! wow.

2nd when you think about it now what are your feelings?

Now? My hair has grown so now it touches my shoulders and they say it's lighter and this blond golden color now. They tell me it's from me cutting it. (I think Hashem just loves me) I keep asking my good friends when I will have to start wearing a ponytail again forever basically and they remind me I got a month or 2 before it gets past. Thinking back, I'm glad I did it. Sometimes it frustrated me as my hair is the most annoying length now. Try googling hairstyles for curly medium AND thick hair. You won't find any. What also makes me feel better is that I thought my hair was short and when I googled short hair for girls I found in the seular world my hair is considered medium already (short is buzz cut/boys hair cut).

Besides for all my ramblings, I feel really good I did it. It really kickstarted my kabbala on my hair. I suggest anyone having trouble with their hair to just cut it and 6 months later they will feel at peace cuz they had 6 months to talk themselves into the idea of wearing a pony FOREVER. yeah.

Thants amazing. im still in awe.
I think if you re-read it youu have your answer if it was Authentic or not....

Keep being an amazing TRUE jew!

Guess ill take take that inspiration! Am dead impressed you seriously amazing such inner strength!!!!!! Omg Wow

If i asked you what you thought about me, similar situation.. long black hair, in my opinion its pretty... With my mum begging me to cut it for zichron menachem.
sooooo shld i do it... pree pesach korban??????????

I like that- pre- korban pesach, your own sacrifice. A nice spin on the idea.

Obviously you should speak to those who have done it, they can tell you what others can't... but I'm interested, what does cutting ur hair mean to YOU?

I love my hair so much
BUT
it would mean less looks from boys and in a way not only tznius but also a huge step in kibud aim!

It really has to come from you. Cutting for me was a kickstart in keeping my hair tzniyus even after it grows out. I will not wear my hair out anymore at all. I say do it! Make sure its authentic cuz a girls hair is sacred, that's why its so hard to cut it and put it in a pony, its also why we get so much schar from it

Thats it I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When yoyu get there to olam habah you will get seriously major sechar for inspiring me to do such a thing you amazing!!!!!!!!!!! zichron menachem just got 11 inches of hair!!

I don't believe it- you really read Hadas Bat-el's post and took the leap?

Gosh.

What a collection of special people we have here!!

Basmelech- tell us about your experience! What was it like before/during/after?

well the main trauma was really the big 11 inches and how short my hair will be its shoulder length now! it def more tznius and since i had my friends around me they made it easier i didnt even cry! what can i say now the desision is keeping it short or growng it long! it hard..

wow. wow. just awed. no words.
Dont know if i will have the strength to do that!

W....w... wow....
That is so major...

I can't beleive I never saw this. Wow I'm so impressed! I can't believe I inspire someone like that!