TOPIC: The Dark & Depressing Times

I had a friend who shared this with me as she was going through a rough time. She felt her situation was never going to change. But, like every mood/situation/bad experience- time heals. B'H she's doing amazingly now!!

Have you ever wanted to scream,
but found yourself unable to?
All that... emotion bottled up inside,
filling you with anticipation for something,
anything.

You feel so unannouced,
so insignificant,
so utterly unimportant.
You want to scream in pain, or grief,
or maybe you just want to scream.
You can't bare to talk to even your closest friend,
you just have to have time to yourself.

The feeling hits you out of nowehere,
punching you in the stomach,
knocking the breath out of you shaky body,
your pulse quickening for no apparent reason.
You find yourself jumpy and that sudden impluse to scream.

Sometimes there is a reason.
Sometimes someone tells you something,
or you just witness a scene, and you just want to change it.
Change the world.
Change life.
You can't keep living as usual.
You have to scream.

Most people hide,
they hide from this urge,
this utter temptation.
They don't scream,
they tell themselves its just a phase,
a passing discomfort.
They hold in the screams,
and in the end,
it kills them.

It doesnt go away
The child is here to stay.
Sometimes it is at rest
But mostly it's a pest.
You see me big and loud
Self assured and proud.
I present as one who knows
Who chooses when to come & go.

I want you to think of me
As completely in control,
But deep within I fight
The child should remain out of sight.

But there it goes again
Raring its childish head,
Exposing me for what I am
And what I wish to shed.

I want to be cool
To have within all the tools
I want to be closed
To show you that I am composed.

But at the moment that I try
I feel myself begin to cry.
The tears just come all on their own
They burst forth , the child is shown.

I shout, I pout I try to cover up
Its me inside but I feel like I am stuck.
I want to be independent and grown
But feel that my maturity has flown.

The child in me is scared to let go
Freedom is calling but it seems my foe.
I want to go but I'm held back
I need to know I can come back.

The big me screams, the child does cry
The two are mingled, I cannot fly.
My wings are still too weak you see
For the big me that is pulling free.