Dreaming and Fighting

Written by Hadassi Shachar on Tuesday, 14 April 2015.

I like my blog. I feel free. I can share my struggles and who I am.

Right know, life is…ummmm the word would prob. be messed up. You would think at 11th grade I would know who I am already. I don’t. I mean I dooooooooo……but. I DON’T KNOW!! I feel so preassured and crazy, I have so many questions.
I want to be normal. I want to be a regular teen.

But I’m not. I’m me. I’m crying now. I don’t know where I’m going, as long as G-d is next to me. I’m a fighter, and I’m going to keep fighting till I am sure this is the right reality. So you can push me down, try to kill me. But I’m gonna get up. I’m gonna get up. No one can hurt me.

But somehow they can. I feel awfully confused. I can barely manage my emotional state so I have no idea how I am going to do 2 months of heavy testing while staying sane and not getting myself kicked outta my school. I don’t know. All I know is Hashem is in ME! He’s running through my blood. He’s whispering “GO GO GO GO GO GO KEEP YOUR HEAD UP. SMILE. MAKE PPL HAPPY. SING. ENJOY. FALL. GET UP. BUT JUST GO GO GO GO GO GO GO”

I do. I dream. I fight. I’ll wipe my tears. I know some day I’ll find answers. Maybe I won’t even. It doesn’t matter anymore. Cuz I’m a fighter. I will get up, go to school and not PRETEND everything is okay. For when I know Hashem is with me and everything is for the good-I WILL BE OKAY. I hope.

But I make mistakes. Stupid mistakes. Will my world ever forgive me? Will the people I’ve hurt forgive?? Will my class???

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About the Author

Hadassi Shachar

This is me.
I am Hadassi.
I dream.
I fight.
Welcome to my world.

Why blog?
Well, in real life people know me. I’m pretty friendly, I like to socialize with everyone, smile and say hi, and will become friends will a stranger on a bus. I’m an frum chareidi Jews, in the BY system- 11th grade. I’m that type of girl that is always happy, and spreads her mood to everyone. I’m not the advice girl. Now I’m thankful for who I am, for everything G-d has given me that brought me to here, but I want to share it!!! I have a infectious personality, I can share my moods easily, why not my thoughts? My parents don’t listen to me, people don’t come to me for advice. Adults don’t listen to my opinion on life, but here-people do. I can affect someone on the other side of the ocean!

I’ve been through a lot, I can share my struggles without adults in my life getting into my business. Anyway, I’m a fighter and dreamer. I dream of helping and inspiring the whole world and see good and happiness wherever I go. And when tragedy befalls me as it most often seems to do, I fight. I keep going. I make a blog, I write a book, I dream of making a CD (or dare I say a few?) This is me. I want people to see me, I want to inspire, help-, dream, and fight.

I’m glad you liked my blog. Please feel free to subscribe and forward my message onto your friends. So my dreams can become a reality. So I can help others fight too. To share my message, flame, and who I am.

This is a place I hope to express my musings on my life, my struggles, and just about me!

This is me.
I am Hadassi.
I dream.
I fight.
Welcome to my world.

 

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