Really Davening

Written by Hadassi Shachar on Wednesday, 17 September 2014.

I think really davening, is when it’s not “davening”, it’s like talking to a person, not some thing that you aren’t sure is there.
It’s as if you see him with your eyes.
And when you feel him stroking your cheek as you cry, whispering ever so softly that all will be okay, and he is right beside you.
But with everything going on…sometimes, there is so much pain, you just feel immune.
So then what do you do???
When you feel nothing, and there is no point in talking to him???
Well, Iv’e found that inspiring yourself helps.
Reading a book or something.
In the summer, admit it, we forget.
I think I davened less than 10 times this summer, but those few times I did.
It was real.
And that was worth it.
You can daven every day in summer, force yourself to go through those motions. But, if it’s not real, it just can’t be equal to the few times it is real.
And when you daven in your own words along the way every day.
Ex. today:  ‘Hashem, please, please!!! Today is Chaviva’s last day in camp, please let her give me a tip’ even something like that, that’s a prayer. A somewhat selfish prayer, but yet, a real tefilla, and hey, we are all selfish at times….
Here’s a poem I wrote, during the Matzav in Israel.

There’s so much pain,and I can’t block it out.
But on the other hand it’s like I just can’t feel anymore.
We don’t grasp in large numbers what’s it about.
We feel when we hear something small.
About a little girls dreams of a summer that’s been lost
and about one person whose son is fighting
About the one who on the inside is dying
And the bochur who got killed helping someone else
It’s the little things that move us
but I have no more tears
I have seen it all already
but inside me there’s no fear
I know G-d got a plan
But I’m so numb, I can’t even pray
All I ask for is one good cry
or such a good tefilla, that the memory of it will never go away.

The few times I davened, included a few trips to the kosel, where I cried to Hashem that he should just stay with me.
Cuz I need him now…
– Hadassi

About the Author

Hadassi Shachar

This is me.
I am Hadassi.
I dream.
I fight.
Welcome to my world.

Why blog?
Well, in real life people know me. I’m pretty friendly, I like to socialize with everyone, smile and say hi, and will become friends will a stranger on a bus. I’m an frum chareidi Jews, in the BY system- 11th grade. I’m that type of girl that is always happy, and spreads her mood to everyone. I’m not the advice girl. Now I’m thankful for who I am, for everything G-d has given me that brought me to here, but I want to share it!!! I have a infectious personality, I can share my moods easily, why not my thoughts? My parents don’t listen to me, people don’t come to me for advice. Adults don’t listen to my opinion on life, but here-people do. I can affect someone on the other side of the ocean!

I’ve been through a lot, I can share my struggles without adults in my life getting into my business. Anyway, I’m a fighter and dreamer. I dream of helping and inspiring the whole world and see good and happiness wherever I go. And when tragedy befalls me as it most often seems to do, I fight. I keep going. I make a blog, I write a book, I dream of making a CD (or dare I say a few?) This is me. I want people to see me, I want to inspire, help-, dream, and fight.

I’m glad you liked my blog. Please feel free to subscribe and forward my message onto your friends. So my dreams can become a reality. So I can help others fight too. To share my message, flame, and who I am.

This is a place I hope to express my musings on my life, my struggles, and just about me!

This is me.
I am Hadassi.
I dream.
I fight.
Welcome to my world.


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